Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
