PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I need to sanitize my soul.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
