Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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