D3 body, D1 cock
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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