i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
