I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need water and some morals
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
