isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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