i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
