just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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