ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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