Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
