Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
