I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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