It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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