So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
