Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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