another moral hangover. fuck.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And then my night got REAL pukey
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
