I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There r osticjed everywhere
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Randomize
