thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
