He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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