Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize