So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
