you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
