Where is the hickey?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
