Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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