i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
