dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
