Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
