I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
