she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
