Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
