Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
