We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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