So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
