can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
