we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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