haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm lost and stupid without you.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
