I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
