I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
