yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
