no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
