you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
