..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You pole danced in your parka.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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