My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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