just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
