you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
