that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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