Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
