OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
