He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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