wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
