my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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