I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
