So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I want to fling myself into the sun
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
