Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
