My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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