You can't special order awesome
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
