Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
