redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
