My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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