you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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