He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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