Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
