"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Randomize
