last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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