Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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