So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize