apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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