Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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