Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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