apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
