Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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