I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize