Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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