drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
