I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
